Dear ____,

Dear Momma Nature,

I speak on behalf of all Washingtonians when I ask if you could please let spring happen. It is very mean to let us have a day of gorgeous sunshine then make it snow the next day. You kill us a little bit everytime you do it. We had enough snow in December, we get it. We know Global Warming is happeneing and I promise some of us are working hard to protect the beautiful land you created and take care of. So, just be a little nice and keep the sun around. Please? Thanks. (P.S: I love you.)




Dear Stacy's Body,

Fuck you. You are SO CLOSE! WHY PLATOUE NOW YOU SELFISH JERK!? Fine, I'll write down everything I eat again. Deal? Deal. (P.S: I really, really love you anyway.)



Dear Math Class,

Make this easy for me. That would be GREAT.



To Whomever It May Concern (coughCoworkescough):

Stop complaining. Stop making excuses. It is all bullshit and really unnecessary. Shut up please and just DO IT or GET OVER IT. From the bottom of my heart (if you listen to me), thank you.




Dear Life,

I love you. I really do. Thanks for all the lessons and letting me see the beauty in you.