"what does 08 mean to me?"

It's not going to be my 2007 (which overall sucked). So I'm pretty ready for the new year.

Yeah- definately excited.



How was everyones Christmas and what (are/did) you (doing/do) for New Years?

:)

I was on the radio

Yes, it is true.

It was super cool.


I have a family friend who hosts a radio show about empowering women... so one time I told her about ReelGrrls (a video production company that I'm a part of- it rocks) and she had us on her show!
I was on it with the founder of RG and a fellow RG, Monica. It was flippin cool.


Yay for us! :)

And I have to go to work in an hour and a half. Then I'm having lunch with a boy I know whose been in Iraq for around two years. *In August or Sept I posted a blog about him calling me... yeah*


Yay! :)

40. Well, now 41.

So as of my last post I've hit the number 40.

Too many people celebrate 50. So f*** that.


WOOT! 40 POSTS SINCE AUGUST.



.....



alright I'm done.


I'm that kind of tired where "normal" is norwhere near where the mind is.


er, I. yeah.



okay.



End.


it's almost 12.


damn.



goodnight, and good luck.



(good movie).

Admit.

I asked my Dad to print a list of therapist that our insurance covers.

He said yes, didnt ask me any questions, which is nice. But he did tell me that I should go to the doctor about re-newing my "happy pills". (I call them that- not my Dad). He loves me and is just trying to help me... but i'm trying to be an adult and make these decisions myself.

Since I was 15 I've been taking "happy pills", but six months ago I stopped taking them cold turkey (not good for me- but I didnt want to do them gradually... it gets too complicated.) Complicated? Yes, yes.

Looking through my journals and blogs and whatnot- I've been noticing a lot of "I"s and "me"s and blahblahblah. I remember watching a movie and the character said that maybe if people took the time to stop and thing about anyone else, good things would come.

Well, the only time I do something for myself is when I write in my blogs, in my journals. Before I take action on anything, I usually think about everyone in my life. Woud this hurt or harm somebody? Would it make somebody happy? If I were to do this, and main characters in my life would not be happy about it- is my need to be happy greater?

Do I need to do this?



I think I do. For me. For my personal happiness. It's perfectly okay to cry for help.

The rollar coaster ride of life is normal. Shit happens.

---




I want a younger version of Will Smith. Smart, charming, funny, talented, (oh yeah- gorgeous).
hubbahubba
.


Stacy out.

freedom.




that's all i need to say.

wow. i cant believe it.

so i should be working on a paper that's due wednesday.

i looked at my computer.. then i looked at my nintendo ds.

i said 'ah, hell- i'll play some sudoku for a bit, whatever.'


three hours later.

just stopped playing.


i think i understand how boys can play games for so long... just kinda... keep going.

damn.


i'm sorry- but i feel lame.


three hours of sudoku for gooness sakes.


my mind is fuzzy.

i'll finish the paper tomorow.


*giggles*

woot.

Finals, part II

Colbie Caillat flows through my eardrums to my cerebellum which allows me to enjoy her melody


which is also distracting me from studying Astronomy.

"Uhhhhh, I dont wanna!" *pouty face*

I know I'm not going to do well, why should I bother? ..because I would rather say I tried than look back and know I was lazy.

I need to look up where the Periodic table origionated. Fuck that.


Should I go to bed now and wake up early and study? Or should I study now and wake up 30 minutes before I need to be there?

$^%&*^&()*&^#$^&%$^&&


I feel the whole weight of the world on my shoulders

Finals

A 30 ounce french press full of coffee (cream/splenda on the side)
my mind wired, fingers twitching
"this needs to get done this needs to get done"
piles of ickystupidgoopoo paper telling me all the crap i havent done
"needs to happen"
easily distracte- oh look, a fly pretending to be dead.
and it's flying.
the fly makes a lot of sound.
stupid fly doesnt have anything to do but be a icky fly that vomits on everything.
too much coffee- tumtum hurts.
yum. sourdough bread.
oh yeah. the ickystupidgoopoo pile of papers.

still need to happen.

to watch "Dukes of Hazzard" or write a few papers?

sing and dance to ten songs- write a paragraph. repeat.

maybe i should actually start this process.

...

poopie.

...



finals are dumb.